Auschwitz 60 years ago

If you have ``Schindler’s List’’, ``The Pianist’’ or other Holocaust movies in your collection you might like to watch one again today. If you have Holocaust books, behold the photographs or immerse yourself in the survivors’ accounts.

Today is the 60th anniversary of the liberation of prisoners in the German Nazi concentration camps in Auschwitz in Poland.

Thousands will be flocking to Auschwitz today, among them world leaders and monarchs, to remember the more than three million people, the majority of them Jews, who were mass murdered mostly in the gas chambers there and in other death camps in Europe.

The European Jews were the primary victims of the Nazis. According to a Holocaust website, in 1933 nine million Jews lived in the 21 countries of Europe that would be occupied by Germany during World War II. By 1945, two out of every three European Jews had been killed.

But the Jews were not the only group in Hitler’s hate list. So were 500,000 million Gypsies, 250,000 mentally or physically disabled, more than three million Soviet prisoners of war, Jehovah’s Witnesses, homosexuals, Social Democrats, Communists, partisans, trade unionists and Polish intelligentsia.



Auschwitz’s three main camps saw the biggest mass killings by gas—almost 1.5 million from 1940 to 1945. According to the Jewish Virtual Library, historians estimate that among the people sent to Auschwitz alone were at least 1.1 million Jews from all the countries in Nazi-occupied Europe, over 140,000 Poles who were mostly political prisoners, some 20,000 Gypsies from several European countries, over 10,000 Soviet prisoners of war and over 10,000 of other nationalities. The majority of the Jewish deportees were sent to the gas chambers to die as soon as they arrived.

It is sickening to know that there are neo-Nazi diehards now espousing the cause to deny that the Holocaust ever happened. They are very much in the league of those who are trying to prove that the moon landing was a hoax, that it was staged in the Arizona desert. On second thought, these Holocaust deniers are a league of their own. I can live with a moon landing hoax theory, but not with a brazen attempt to obliterate the historical fact of six million people mass murdered because they belonged to a certain race or were simply different.

Auschwitz in Poland, more than Dachau, Bergen-Belsen and other concentration camps in Germany, has become known as a symbol of terror and genocide. It was established by Hitler’s Nazis in 1940, a year before they embarked on the so-called Endlosung der Jugenfrage or ``Final Solution of the Jewish Question’’ (euphemism for mass extermination, by the way).

Annexed by the Nazis to the Third Reich, Oswiecim was renamed Auschwitz. It was at the center of German-occupied Europe and therefore people could easily be sent there. Auschwitz prisoners were used in synthetic rubber, fuel and military plants. It later became the biggest of all death camps.

The local populace of Poles and Jews living near Auschwitz III were driven out of their homes. Many homes were demolished, others were assigned to officers and their families.

In the beginning Auschwitz was just for the ``dangerous’’ Poles—the elite and the intelligentsia, the artists and the scientists and those in the resistance movement, the likes, perhaps, of Karol Wojtyla. Later, the Nazis sent in their prisoners from other countries. Many died there as a result of starvation, disease, torture and criminal medical experiments.

Dr. Joseph Mengele did many of his experiments there—surgeries without anesthesia, blood transfusions, isolation endurance, sex change operations, injection of lethal germs, incestuous impregnations, limb removals. He was fanatical about identical twins and dissected them meticulously.

In a 1995 signed statement, Nazi doctor Hans Munch recounted how he witnessed the selection process on who was to live and who was to die. ``Children and old people, the sick and those unable to work were sent to the gas chambers. These were innocent human beings. Jews, gypsies, homosexuals, Hitler’s political opponents—anyone who did not fit Hitler’s idea of a pure Aryan race.

``I, a former SS physician, witnessed the dropping of Zyklon B into simulated exhaust vents from outside the gas chamber. Zyklon began to work as soon as it was released from the canisters. The effects of the gas were observed through a peephole by an assigned doctor or the SS officer on duty. After three to five minutes, death could be certified, and the doors were opened as a sign that the corpses were cleared to be burned.

``This is a nightmare I continue to live with 50 years later. I am so sorry that in some way I was part of it. Under the prevailing circumstances, I did the best I could to save as many lives as possible. Joining the SS was a mistake. I was young. I was on opportunist. And once I joined, there was no way out.’’

While many brave individuals and families risked their lives to help Jews escape genocide, only one man, Oscar Schindler, succeeded in getting Jews out of Auschwitz on the pretext that they were his workers and by bribing the Nazis. He spent millions, all he possessed, to save ``his Jews’’. Schindler died poor.

With the Soviet Army advancing, the Auschwitz officials started destroying documents and evidence of their crimes. They evacuated prisoners in mid-January of 1945. The able-bodied were marched out in columns by the German guards. Many died in the ``Death March’’ and the few thousands who were left behind in prison were liberated on Jan. 27, 1945.

We must know and remember.

Karangalan, gathering time

The boulders in our hearts will quake and break open, the shroud of grief will lift and the sound of wailing will drift away. I make myself say that and believe it will happen indeed.

A terrible season has just passed, a more terrible one we should not expect otherwise we would be mired in grief and hopelessness. But what is hope? It is not hope but mere passive waiting if there is no action, if there is no effort to restore the mountains that collapsed on us, or to find signs of life amidst the flotsam and the jetsam that were swept away and back into our lives. We cannot gripe forever in our comfort zones.

And so we go out and gather, otherwise we scatter.

Did the angels conspire and the gods inspire that now we see people gathering, bothering once again to seek solutions so that this obdurate and benighted nation would move forward and up? Does the Philippines have a future? Does the Philippines have a future with our generation?

The organizers of the Karangalan Conference/Festival ``are confident that the Philippines has a future.’’ When they say future, they mean good, bright.

After a litany of ills, hope comes hurtling: ``Amidst the anger and frustration, there is also the reality of the other Philippines. This is the Philippines of moral strength, courage, vision, initiative, compassion, integrity, political will, socially-oriented businesses, artistic competence, social entrepreneurship, achievement and excellence. It is a reality that is here, right now. It is something not far away but already here in our midst, slowly but surely re-shaping the future of our country for the better.’’ There.



This amazing future unfolds tomorrow, Jan 21. About 2,000 people are expected to join the three-day Karangalan Conference/Festival at the Cultural Center of the Philippines.

This conference is also a festival because those who will come will feast because, according to the organizers, last year, the Philippines became one of the most globally awarded countries in the world. Individuals and groups won no less than 10 of the highest global awards for their work in global justice, journalism, environment, culture including music and areas of art, social threefolding as an approach to peaceful society transformation, sports, urban architecture, renewable energy and sustainable towns.

Spokesperson Nicanor Perlas said this will be the first time globally and nationally awarded Filipinos from the three key spheres of society—economy, politics and culture—are coming together to highlight and advance ``the reality of another, much better Philippines.’’ Perlas was a winner of the 2003 Right Livelihood Award, the UN Environmental Global 500 Award and the Outstanding Filipino Award.

I had to squint when I read the roster of speakers and the dazzling global awards after their names. Lahat premyado. Honestly, I’d also want to listen to a really outstanding barangay captain. And I could not help thinking whether Aeta leader Carling has been invited to listen, this G-stringed find from the foot of Mount Pinatubo who has himself done a lot of speaking and reaching out to the original nations of the world. But I digress.

Karangalan means having honor and dignity; it comes from the word dangal or honor.

The goals of the conference (take a deep breath) are: to highlight and celebrate the striving and successes of many Filipinos for a better way of life and country; to empower Filipinos, through an experience of dozens of exciting initiatives, with a sense of vision and hope for our country and our country’s future; to create a social space where diverse, prominent and little-known initiatives can come together and cross-fertilize each other; to enable participants and the larger public to have a glimmer of the present form and future possibilities of the visionary Philippines that is emerging in our midst; to encourage the launching of new initiatives for a better Philippines.

The participants will experience the reality of ``the other, more hopeful Philippines’’ through a lectures, workshops, exhibits and artistic performances. As far as I know, the convenor group, a mix of more than 20 NGOs and institutions, are not identified with any political party. Participants will have to pay a fee (at least P300 a day to cover costs) but students and the impoverished can get discounts. To know more, log on to www.truthforce.info.

Karangalan is not the only gathering this season. ABS-CBN recently convened the ``Forum for the Filipino Future.’’ And today, the three-day Global Filipino Networking Convention in Cebu City begins. Its call: ``Enshrine yourself in the gallery of heroes. Join our stand in pushing our country forward.’’ It’s full-page ad in the Inquirer has a someone girl asking: ``Reklamo…puro reklamo. Pero, ’Tay, ano ba ang nagawa n’yo para sa bayan?’’ Aray. Two weeks from now we will have the 2nd Philippine Summit of the News Media (``Media Nation 2: Owning Up.’’)

I noticed that media and telecommunications biggies are sometimes sponsors of big gatherings. And where one media or corporate giant is a sponsor its major competitor is not likely to be there. ABS-CBN will not cover a GMA7-sponsored to-do and vise-versa. Incidentally, someone from ABS-CBN is co-emceeing at Karangalan. I hope the other networks will not excuse themselves.

Will this three-day Karangalan gathering go down to ground level? Yes, Perlas said, the participants will make ways to spread this awareness of ``another, much better Philippines’’ that is in all of us.

And so, to the future indeed. Here’s looking at you.

Post-traumatic stress disorder

For those involved in the rescue, relief and rehabilitation operations in the aftermath of the recent series of disasters here and abroad, the realization that the problem is more than material and economic could be daunting. The psychological trauma of survivors could be paralyzing and the effects could be long-lasting if these are not addressed immediately and properly.

The recent killer landslides in our own home ground and the post-Christmas tsunami that killed more than 165,000 people in 11 countries and left millions bereaved and bereft have to mean something and result in something. Otherwise, is it all despair?

Last Monday we wrote about the experiences of a team of clinical psychologists who fanned out to several disaster areas in the aftermath of the 1990 earthquake, the 1991 Mount Pinatubo and 1993 Mayon Volcano eruptions. The team, called HEART (Holistic and Empathetic Approach to Rehabilitation and Training), was composed of Ateneo University masteral and doctoral psychology students led by Dr. Ma. Lourdes A. Carandang, a seasoned clinical psychologist, researcher and author. The effort was funded by Unicef.

One of the fruits of their experiences was the book ``Pakikipagkapwa-Damdamin: Accompanying Survivors of Disasters’’ (Bookmark, 1996). The book is now being updated and redesigned for reprinting. It is a rich source of insights and methodology for those helping survivors to cope with their trauma and find meaning in what is left of their lives. Empowering them is even more daunting. Note that I avoid using the word victim.
That tongue-twister in the title means empathy and more. If sympathy is pakikiramay, empathy goes farther and deeper.



As a journalist who uses words as a medium and as one who had trained in clinical psychology and worked with the breaking and the broken once upon a time, I could not help but note the therapeutic power of words and story-telling. Naming the pain, saying and sharing one’s pain, beholding the pain of others—these could be the beginning of healing.

For post-disaster rescuers and caregivers who must wade into the ocean of human sorrow and who might feel overwhelmed, bewildered and clueless, the book offers not only how-tos but comfort as well. Arellano’s book also deals with the burden and burnout of the caregivers.

This ``Diagnostic Critera for Post Traumatic Disorder’’ crafted by psychologists and psychiatrists (and by the HEART team) could equip those out there in dealing with the pain of survivors as well as there own.

A. the person has experienced an event that is outside the range of usual human experience and that would be markedly distressing to almost anyone, that is, serious threat to one’s life or physical integrity; serious threat or harm to one’s children, spouse, or other close relatives and friends; sudden destruction of one’s home or community; or seeing another person who has recently been or was being seriously injured or killed as the result of an accident or physical violence.

B. The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in at least one of the following ways:
1. the recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event (in young children, repetitive play in which themes or aspects of the trauma are expressed)
2. recurrent distressing dreams of the event
3. sudden acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (including a sense of reliving the experience, illusions hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes, even those that occur upon awakening or when intoxicated)
4. intense psychological distress at exposure to events that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event, including anniversaries of the trauma

C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma or numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by at least three of the following
1. efforts to avoid thoughts or feelings associated with the trauma
2. efforts to avoid activities or situations that arouse recollections of the trauma
3. inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma (psychogenic amnesia)
4. markedly diminished interest in significant activities in young children, loss of recently acquired developmental skills such as toilet training or language skills
5. feeling of detachment or estrangement from others
6. restricted range of affect, that is, being unable to have loving feelings
7. sense of a foreshortened future, that is, does not expect to have a career, marriage, or children, or a long life

D. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (not present before the trauma) as indicated by at least two of the following
1. difficulty falling asleep
2. irritability or outbursts of anger
3. difficulty concentrating
4. hypervigilance
5. exaggerated startle response
6. physiological reactivity upon exposure to events that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event (for example, a woman who was raped in an elevator breaks out in sweat when entering any elevator)

E. Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in B, C and D) of at least one month.
Note: sometimes the onset of these symptoms could be delayed.

****

May I say again that there are websites that accept ``tsunami donations’’ via credit card, among them, www.unicef.org, www.ifrc.org and www.catholicrelief.org. Some people I know who are not internet-literate sent money and asked me to do it for them. I was touched. Unicef instantly issues a receipt in the donor’s name via the card holder’s email.

Now please do it yourself.

Poor helping poor

When the poor give to their fellow poor they give of their very substance and in so doing, become materially diminished in a way. There is the Filipino saying ``Isusubo na lang, ibinigay pa.’’ Roughly translated, what one is about to put into one’s mouth, one gives up for someone more needy. Giving even if it hurts--literally. That is often said of mothers of impoverished families.

I am reminded of birds and other wildlife who hunt prey, masticate their catch and then regurgitate the partly digested stuff into the open mouths of their young. You see a lot of these magnificent images on wildlife TV. How literal, how from-the-gut this giving is. But we are not wildlife and as humans we go through a complicated non-gut process in feeding others who are not our own.

Many who have much also give much but they do not hurt as much or may not even hurt at all. Millions of pesos, hundreds of thousands, a few thousands. All that changes are the numbers, not the digits, in the givers’ bank accounts and they may not even notice the change, much less feel it. They will not count the cost. They will still eat their favorite food, ride in one car at a time, fly first class. They are not diminished, nothing of their substance has been given up or taken way. Still, they are to be appreciated. Actress Sandra bullock just donated $1 million to the tsunami victims.

But the poor also give. They may not count the cost but they will certainly feel the cost.



Last week, at Christmastide, a group consisting of members of the Alay Kapwa Christian Communities went to the disaster-stricken towns of Real and Infanta in Quezon. I tagged along. They were women mostly, all coming from poor urban and rural communities served by the Good Shepherd Sisters. They brought with them a big jeepload of relief goods. Each bundle had the staples--rice, sugar, coffee, milk, canned goods, pieces of clothing.

Included too were packs of spaghetti and meat sauce which, I was told, were part of the Christmas ``bundles of joy’’ that Alay Kapwa poor families had received from benefactors. Now they were giving them up to the more needy.

They even raised some P11,000 from their own pockets. They have been so lucky, they admitted. The late Sr. Christine Tan, whom we all missed during this trip, had poured out her life for them. They knew how loved they were, now it was their turn to reach out.

We went in two vehicles that breezed through the zigzag until we reached that part in Real where the mountains had dumped mud, huge rocks, uprooted trees, logs and remains of homes in the last days of November. Already a month since the killer-landslides struck and road clearing was still going on.

How terrible indeed, the women said, to be poor, homeless, hungry and bereaved. Most of the time, while we were viewing the ruins, there was only awe and silence. If there was something here they wanted, the women said, it was the fresh mountain air along the way which city folks did not have. We should bring home mountain air in a bottle, someone quipped, and we all laughed.

Infanta town center was a wreck and groaning in the mud. Bishop Rolando Tria Tirona’s residence (made mostly of bamboo) was a mess. Our shock was eased by our brief rest and lunch at the Carmelite monastery garden. This was not your regular monastery with grills and cloisters. This was a lovely contemplative community of nuns minus the formidable walls, attuned and open to the poor and to nature. That was how it was begun during the time of now retired Bishop Julio Labayen (himself a Carmelite), this is how it continues to be.

During lunch the nuns told us about the mountains roaring and how their place became a refuge for those who had to flee. Everything the nuns could lay their hands on they had to give away to the wet, cold, hungry and homeless. Frightened was an understatement.

The Alay Kapwa group had to decide whether to leave the bundles at the social action center for centralized distribution or hand them over themselves to residents of a barangay. The group opted for the latter which was a more complicated process. They wanted to be skin to skin, they said, with their fellow poor even if briefly. So to Sitio Maypulot we went.

This was not their first time to reach out. When Mount Pinatubo erupted and buried portions of Central Luzon in lahar, the Alay Kapwa poor helped their fellow poor rebuild their homes. Their efforts were small and unnoticed. They only had their hearts and hands.

I am not romanticizing the poor here. They are not the easiest to work and live with, as the nuns might tell you, but the poor have their great moments and they too have shining spaces in their souls.

Our conversation often dwelled on the tsunami that struck the day after Christmas and claimed the lives of more than 150,000 people and brought sorrow to millions in Asia and parts of Africa.

Are we too busy with our own? Do we feel too small to help? I remember the series I wrote in 1998 on the overstaying Vietnamese refugees no rich nation of their choice wanted to take. The Philippines offered them citizenship and, with the help of the Catholic bishops, built them a permanent community in Palawan. Thank you, Philippines, the Vietnoys said. I wept.

We are a poor nation but we are not a stingy people.

Help! Eager to help the tsunami victims but can’t find a local fund campaign? Log on to www.unicef.org, www.ifrc.org or www.catholicrelief.org or contact pnrchq@redcross.org.ph. You could use your credit card. It’s fast and easy. But shouldn’t we do a piso-piso collection? If one billion of the six billion people on this planet would each give a dollar…

`Backpack of a Jesus-seeker’

If you’re one of those trying to make sense of the seemingly senseless Christmas to-do, groaning under the weight of gifts that had to be wrapped, trees that had to be lighted; if you’re suffering from christmasa nervosa, misplaced anxieties, worries and edginess (because it’s Christmas), pause awhile, inhale and gather your wits. Maybe Christmas has indeed passed you by. Good for you or good on you. You brought this condition upon yourself.

Missed out on the Christ in Christmas?

Noted Jesuit theologian Fr. Carlos Abesamis has come out with a sequel to his ``travel guide’’ of a book ``A Third Look at Jesus’’ which we wrote about in this space some years ago.

This new one, titled ``Backpack of a Jesus-seeker’’, has the format of conversations going on among several characters. One character is Carl (not Karl Marx but the author); the seeker who has been in search of the original Jesus and has found him but still continues to search; and the Backpack.

``Backpack’’ answers questions Christian believers ask about the basics of their faith—the teachings and ministry of Jesus as well as his death and resurrection, the Kingdom of God, heaven, etc. Through the conversations, Abesamis deconstructs and gives fresh interpretation to the hard-bound catechism gathering dust on the shelf.

Now that’s not easy to do. So it couldn’t be helped if the conversations sometimes sound contrived, with the theological weight weighing down on the backpack. Some stuff are simply weighty in themselves, and why not. (I just wish the book design were lighter, minus the allCAPS, bold face, italics, underscoring and illustrations trying to outdo one another. The backpack doohickey is cute though.)

I must say, Abesamis makes theology sort of fun and the Christian faith worth living out. His effort to bring things down at ground level is admirable. That’s my view. I have no intention to write a review. I just wish to share what the book is about.

Believer or non-, there is always something to learn from the core of any religious faith. Let’s eavesdrop on a conversation on ``life blessings or total well-being’’, food and, of course, eating:

Backpack: For ordinary folks, the Kingdom of God could be a new world filled with life-blessings.

Seeker:…such as decent homes, security, education, jobs, nutritious meals, the sea-breezes, spiritual well-being, the energy they get from the sacraments, especially the Eucharist, friendships—these are all life-blessings.

Carl:… any and every blessing that gives life.

Seeker: Life-blessings include, but are not limited to, spiritual grace and divine life…

Carl: In short, we are here talking about total well-being… Have you been to a farmer’s vegetable farm bursting with a spectacular variety of vegetables and fruits? Isaiah’s version of the Kingdom of God can be compared to that. It is a rich harvest of vibrant details about the Kingdom of God.

Seeker: But that is Isaiah, five centuries before Jesus. Could Jesus have had another and different idea?

Backpack: Jesus had the same idea. In fact, Isaiah, provided the source for Jesus’ understanding. Watch how the ideas, images, and words of Isaiah are echoed in Jesus’ words…(Matthew 11 and Luke 7 and 4)

Backpack: Talking about life-blessings, we will do well to discuss the most striking life-blessing linked with the Kingdom of God. What would be a good guess? Hint: a lot of people carry it around often in their backpack, especially workers and schoolchildren. It is available in abundance during barrio fiestas.

Seeker: A good guess is…hmmm…food!

Backpack: Yes! Food! This was already included on the report on the beatitudes (Blesses are you who hunger, you shall be satisfied).

Carl: But it is worth expanding on it, first, because, from my own experience, it overturns one of our misconceptions, that is, that so-called `material’ things, like food, cannot be part of spiritual salvation…

Seeker: There goes somebody being stood up on his head again!

Backpack:…second, because food is a life-and-death issue in a world where millions of children and adults are malnourished and hungry…

Carl: But let us discuss these contemporary implications at some other time. Today, let us focus on the biblical data, the indispensable foundation in our search.

Backback: Well, first, it is truly intriguing that food would be part of Jesus’ Kingdom scenario. ``Then people will come from east and west, from north and south, and will eat in the kingdom of God (Luke 13:29; Matthew 8:11).

Seeker: Given our average mind-set, it is truly intriguing.

Carl: And furthermore, the Scripture not only incorporates food into the Kingdom scenario, it also does it so spontaneously, so casually—as if `to eat bread’ is a typical, expected and normal activity in the future Kingdom of God! ``Blessed is anyone who will eat bread in the kingdom of God!’’ (Luke 14:15)

Backpack: And furthermore, it is natural and so taken for granted that the blessing most frequently associated with the Kingdom of God is food. Samples: ``Truly I tell you, I will never again drink of the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God’’…

Carl: And did you know that in the Lord’s prayer, the bread (``Give us this day our daily bread’’ originally referred to the food of the coming Kingdom of God at the end of time?

Seeker: to wrap it up, we Asians and Filipinos can say: The Kingdom of God is Rice!

Carl: Up here! And rice, corn, chapati, bread, yam, cassava, kamote, in short, food, is a significant life-blessing in the barrio fiesta of the Kingdom of God.

Paskong Makahulugan at Bagong Taong Makasaysayan.

From an old Christmas story

``Are you ready?’’ asked his wife who was standing by the door. Concha handed the general a plastic bag. ``Use my car, okay? I insist. It’s safer.’’ She was almost whispering.

``Of course,’’ he assured his wife. ``Just tell the guests I was suddenly summoned to headquarters and will be back before sundown. Tell my sisters… They’ll understand. I’m sure many of them will still be around for supper.’’ He looked around for his daughter but Amelia had gone back to the living room to mingle with the guests. It was as if she did not want to see her father slip away. Such moments she usually left to her mother to handle.

The general bussed his wife on the cheek then boarded the car. Two men were with him.

The one-and-a-half ride to Bulacan was smooth. The general was alone in the backseat. He stretched his neck, pulled back his head and put on his dark glasses. He told the driver to turn off the air conditioner and open the windows. He liked the wind on his face. The men with him stopped their conversation thinking the general wanted to doze off. But the general was wide awake, his eyes were wide open.

The expressway was practically empty and the car was running at very high speed. Through the open windows the general could see the fields, the lamp posts, the houses, the trees streaming past him and he felt like the car was slicing through it all. The highway was like the Red Sea parting, he thought. He felt small and a little overwhelmed.

The general had not seen Augusto for more than four years. The last time he saw him was a few months before the dictator—the old dog, he called him—was toppled. That was during the preparations for the 1986 snap elections that brought the new government to power.

That time Augusto and the general met secretly in a posh apartment in Manila. He was a colonel then, and Augusto, said to be a high-ranking official of the underground communist movement, was rumored to have been killed in an encounter with government troops in the Caraballo mountains in Bulacan. It was quite a reunion for the brothers, with Augusto having a good laugh and quoting the ailing dictator himself: ``Rumors about my death are extremely exaggerated.’’

Everyone knew the general had this brother. This never jeopardized his promotion. In fact this thing had been used time and again—by both the old regime and the new one—to plead for what the general called ``so-called unity.’’ Worse, sometimes one side or the other in the armed conflict would hint at having on their side, ``the better brother.’’ This pained him so…

The general preferred to recall the little things. He remembered exactly what day it was when Augusto almost drowned in the Tabucan river in Iloilo where they grew up. That was on a Palm Sunday. He was 15 and Augusto was 10. The big boys were having fun in the river. The small boys were shooed away. But Augusto decided to show off and tried swimming across the river by himself. He never made it to the other side. Somewhere in the middle of river he started to bob up and down, he was drowning and gasping for breath. The big boys fished him out and pumped water out of him. What an embarrassment he was to his big brother.

The last time the brothers visited that river together was more than 25 years ago in the afternoon of Christmas Day. Emmanuel Santos was a fresh graduate of the military academy then and Augusto was still in college doing anthropology.

``We’re almost there, sir,’’ the driver said. ``But you have to tell me where to turn, sir.’’ The general took out a piece of paper on which he had written the instructions given him. In about 10 minutes they were in the place. ``Stay in the car,’’ he ordered his two men, ``but be alert.

The general picked up the plastic bag and went out of the car. He walked a few steps then took out a white handkerchief and held it with his left hand. He pretended to wipe his forehead with the handkerchief. A man wearing a baseball cap emerged from somewhere and asked, ``Are you from Managua?’’ It was a code. ``Yes, I am from Managua,’’ the general answered.

The man wearing a baseball cap led him to a hut by the river. Augusto was there alone, waiting for him. ``Manong Em,’’ Augusto exclaimed as he embraced the general who was very tall. The general did not say a word. He buried his face in his brother’s thick black hair, he held him tightly for many seconds and rocked him from side to side. He inhaled him. Augusto smelled of the river, the brown fields and laundry soap.

``Let’s sit down,’’ Augusto said, pulling two bamboo benches. The general’s eyes were following Augusto’s hands.

``I brought you this,’’ the general said. ``Ham. I sliced them myself last night. Concha and Amelia send their love.’’

``How are they, Manong?’’ Augusto asked.

``Oh, still the career women…but we’ve grown closer over the years. And your…?’’

``Roja is fine, after that bout with malaria.’’

They were by themselves in the hut by the river for about 30 minutes. Except for the gust of December wind, there was not a stir on the outside. The brothers were seated by the window that looked out to the flowing water and the wide expanse of craggy fields. They spoke in a low voice but twice or thrice they broke into peals of laughter which the wind caught and carried to the open sky and far away to the Caraballo mountains.

****

Makabuluhang Pasko! Given the series of disasters several weeks ago, this Christmas season should be a liberating one for most of us, for we need not prepare for the usual gift-giving and merry-making for ourselves and those dear to us. It’s clear, so very clear, where our Christmas energies should go.

`Sick of the Times’

A weepy week it could have been, what with William Chua leaving for the Great Courtroom in the Sky. Sure this is a time for weeping but this is also a time for celebrating a great life. A great friend of 25 years William was to me and many others who had pen as weapon and to his fellow human rights lawyers who knew what a good fight meant. (See yesterday’s Inquirer front page news story.)

William passed in the evening of Dec. 13 after a six-month battle with pancreatic cancer which he faced with vigor and grace. William spent his last few days at St. Luke’s Hospital where there was a big commotion because movie king FPJ was there lying comatose after suffering a stroke. (FPJ died a minute after midnight.)One had to wade through the endless stream of cars and the throng of fans and politicians. Parking was a nightmare. Oh God, I thought, would I ever get there? I did and by the time I left, the crowd had thickened.

The scene outside was surreal. Inside, in his own little space, warmed by soft lights and the prayers of family and friends around him, William waited then gently slipped away and passed on to the Great Beyond.

My story yesterday said that William was the anonymous publisher/editor of the well-remembered ``Sick of the Times’’ that spoofed and satirized the excesses of the Marcos dictatorship through jokes, essays and illustrations. Okay, I will now confess that I was one of the cub writers. The rest will have to remain unknown. But why will I not reveal that PCGG head and recent Magsaysay Awardee Haydee Yorac, William’s UP law professor then, also wrote for ``Sick’’?

I still have copies of the second and third ``Sick’’ issues. I’m looking for the first issue because that was where, I think, the languorous ``The Autumn of the Patriarch’’ came out. It was a take-off from Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s novel about an ailing despot whose regime and body were slowly being corrupted.

No one knew if an issue would be the last so it had, near the masthead, ``Volume One, Only One.’’

The June 1981 issue had for its banner ``Luzon mortgaged.’’ The lead paragraph: ``The US State Department today announced its acceptance of the Philippine government’s offer to pledge the island of Luzon as security for its mounting foreign debts which as of March 1981 stood at $13.1 billion.

``Two real estate agents from Beverly Hills have been dispatched by Washington to sign the deed of mortgage. They will be met at the airport by Foreign Minister and designer-jeans tycoon Carlo Roma and his beautiful wife…Later in the evening, the two guests will be feted on board the presidential yacht RPS Sex-sex-sex. The sleek boat was reportedly donated by a Japanese sex tour operator.’’

Meanwhile…``Angarbo Angarapal became the 14th president of the University of the Foolipines following a protracted tsu-tsu struggle between equally talented sycophants…’’

But the side-splitting stuff were the trivia, letters to the editor, ads, comics and announcements. ``Try New Improved Boycott. Helps Relieve Dictatorship Pains.’’ ``Gagong Lipunan Government Primer’’ lists the government ministries with their logos and services. ``Ministry of Public Information—government agency hostile to facts. Training ground of the country’s leading fiction writers.

``National Bureau of Investigation–otherwise known as the Malacanang Garden Society because of its penchant for planting evidence as in the case of Quintero and Climaco’’ and so forth and so on.

Ministry of Settlements was ``shittlements’’ and the New Society motto ``Higit sa Lahat Tao’’ became ``higit sa lahat tae.’’

Among ``Kasey Sakim’s 20 Greatest Hits of the New Society’’ were ``Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’’ by the NPA Concert Chorus; ``You Light Up My Life’’ by Ed Olaguer and the Matchsticks (remember the Light-a-Fire Movement?); ``First of May’’ by Lando Olalia and the KMU Orchestra; ``I’ve Got You Under My Skin’’ by Ferdie and the Lupus; ``Leaving on Jet Plane by the Dewey Dee and Fluvio Magpayo Duet. And many more.

The hit song ``We are the World (USA for Africa)’’ was rewritten as ``We are the World (USAid Appearka)’’.

Read any good papers lately? ``Read Daily Eggless, Bulshittin Today and Tame Journal.’’ A warning notice: ``Mag-ingat sa ASSO: The rabid truth about tutas in the Armed Forces.’’

When I thought my house might be ``visited’’, I kept my stack of ``Sick’’ copies in a very unlikely storage spot. When the military came to search for persons and publications, they found nothing.

Once a huffing William arrived somewhere saying he almost drove right smack into a military search operation somewhere with his car full of ``Sick’’. He was paper white.

The last issue, named ``Nineteen Eighty Sick’’, came out during the 1986 the snap elections. The headline: ``Imelda declines VP slot.’’ Below it was ``Psychic sees FM win.’’ On the last page was Marcos’ last will and testament.

``I, Ferdinand E. Marcos, of legal age, married to Imelda Romualdez, being of sound and disposing mind, do by these presents declare this to be my last will and testament which I have caused to be written in the King’s English, a language which is known to me and better left alone by my wife…’’

William was ready to go and, I was told, that at some point he even looked forward to that wondrous moment. ``God loves me,’’ he would say. But he loved his family so much he wished he could be around for Christmas. During our last face-to-face talk, long before he lapsed into a pain-free sleep, I asked him how he would describe his life. William answered: ``There was no space left unfilled.’’#